Christopher Golde

“The fruit that your soul longed for has gone from you and all the things which are rich and splendid have gone from you and you shall find them no-more at all.”

 John: Revelation 18.14                New Testament

    Chapter forty four
 The Journey Part two
            ‘The Loss’

Date:            8th February 2000
Location:     Tibet




                Jason awoke from his deep sleep on the steps of the stone staircase that he had been climbing. As he looked up into the sky, a gust of cold alpine air spread the clouds that had enveloped him and the mountaintop while he slept. As he sat watching the sky clear, he realized that the pathway ahead was blocked by a giant wooden door that slowly materialized from the swirling mist. Jason staggered to his feet almost frozen solid and took the agonizing final steps leading to the ancient structure that had now exposed itself in its enormous entirety.

              Once close enough he saw that the door was made of solid tree trunks, each at least as thick as his own body. From between cracks in these timbers grew giant thistles with heads as big as soccer balls and stalks as thick as human arms.

              ‘Apparently,’ he thought, ‘this door has not been opened in a very long time.’

 Looking around for a way through, he found that one side was just solid mountain and the other side dropped away as far as he could see into the swirling mists that covered the cliff face below.

              He searched for some sort of latch, but there was none. Then he noticed a small bell no more than two feet above his head but so small that he doubted if ringing it would be of any use at all. Picking up his swag of clothes from the ground, he swung it at the bell expecting only to dislodge it. Instead, the resulting chime was a perfect note, so high in fact, that he had to cover his ears. Within a second of the first high pitched chime, he heard another more distant from behind the door, then within another second, another that sounded even further away, then another and another. Each bell, in turn, sounded further and further away, until the chimes were so distant he could only just make them out. Then there was silence. Jason waited, expecting nothing.

              To his amazement, no more than a few minutes passed before he noticed some movement at the edge of the cliff face and a small door, so perfectly cut into the giant wooden logs, that it would never be noticed, opened. From the now open door, stepped a small bald-headed man dressed in orange robes. Jason walked over towards him and started to explain who he was, but before he had a chance to say more than a stutter, the small man said.

              “I know who you are Master Jason.”

              Jason was astonished that even this man, in this remote mountaintop of nowhere, knew his name and seemed to expect him. Although his life was forever filled with strangeness, just how strange never failed to impress him.


 

     The evening sky was clear of clouds as the very first star appeared and warned of impending night. With only the remnants of a setting sun providing light above the treetops, a deepening red hue indicated that the next day would be sweltering hot. Typically, at this time of year, the following day would reach temperatures in the low hundred’s, followed by a violent lightning storm and a bucketing of rain, which would intensify the humidity of the night.

     The highway traffic was light, as a small green sedan cruised west towards the city. Inside the small car, the passenger, a young bleach blonde girl yawned and stretched her arms. She peered out into the almost absolute darkness at the only remaining hint of the vanquished sun, as it scorched a fine layer of the horizon. As she watched, a soft red glow in the west slowly surrendered to the dense eucalyptus forest that surrounded the edges of the highway.

     “How far is it now,” she asked, as she stretched? “Not that I don’t love driving with you darling, but it’s been a long day and I’m feeling so sleepy,” she added, not wanting to sound like she didn’t enjoy being there with him.

     Jason King, the driver, was a young man in his early twenties with long, fair, shoulder-length hair, piercing green eyes and beautifully aquiline facial features.

     “About another hour,” he said, shooting a quick glance in her direction.

     Although the darkness that consumed them was smothering, he could still make out her cute girlish smile in the feint instrument glow radiating inside the car. The highway twisted and turned through the dense forest requiring his undivided attention and he too began to feel the strain of the long drive.

     “I’m a bit tired as well,” he added, “maybe it would be safer if we stopped somewhere for the night and went on to the city in the morning feeling fresh?”

     “I’d have to call my parents this time; they nearly killed me when I didn’t get home the other night.”

     He laughed out loud.

     “Hey!!!! That wasn’t my fault the alarm didn’t go off.”

     “I don’t mind staying overnight,” she continued, “but I haven’t been sleeping very well lately, so if I have another bad night, I hope I won’t keep you awake.”

     “What’s been the problem,” he asked, with genuine concern?

     “Just bad dreams,” she answered sheepishly.

     “Dreams like what,” he asked? He glanced across and saw the fear in her beautiful blue eyes.

     “Horrible dreams…dreams about death…yucky dreams.”

     “Well tell me,” he insisted.

     “Well…in one dream Caroline gets killed right there in front of me and I can’t do anything about it.”

     Jasmin was the oldest of three sisters, Caroline was the youngest sister and Deborah was in the middle. He knew how close they were and how much a dream like that would upset her.

     “How?”

     She hesitated, looked away and then replied softly not looking up at him.

     “A car hits her,” she said, reluctantly, “when our whole family is walking in the street.”

     She looked down into her lap, her long white hair falling from her shoulders, covering her face from his sight.

     “Is that the only dream,” he asked, trying not to put too much weight into the meaning of the question?

     “No! In the next dream, Deb dies…this time I don’t know how, but I know I am blaming myself for my dream…they’re so horrible these dreams and I wake up crying each time. And then,” she lowered her voice to a  distressed whisper, “last night, I had this horrible dream where I died, and …and it was not like it was happening to me…you know, like in normal dreams, it…it was like a feeling, a sense, like it was a premonition of what was going to happen.”

     She lifted her head and he could see tears welling up in her soft, sad eyes. She looked at him longingly, as if to plead with him to make them go away. She knew she really loved Jason, even though her parents thought she was too young to be serious. Their friends knew how close they were, but they were all young too. Except for a few, most older people they knew said that their relationship had been too short to know whether they were in love.

     ‘But they don’t know Jason as I do.’ she thought, comforting herself, ‘he is very different, he is very special.’

     She broke off and looked back out the car windows at the now almost invisible soft red glow of the retreating sun.

     He reached over with his left hand and grabbed her arm sliding down until he reached her long slender fingers.

     “Come on don’t be sad, it’s only a dream and you’re with me now, we’re together and I love you.”

     She looked back at him.

      “I know. I love you too but it was so real, it scared me and I can’t get over it, even a day later, in fact, it seems to have become worse.”

     “Nothing's going to happen to you,” he reassured her, “cheer up, it was just a dream.”

     He tried a smile on her and she did warm a little before she looked back out through the window into the foreboding blackness of the forest. Tall black shadows now filtered out the faint glow of the dead sun and the headlights of the car seemed to be absorbed by the intense darkness that closed in on them. She felt as if it would consume her completely.

     “I’ll tell you what,” he said, trying to lift the moment, “we’ll stop in at a motel for a few hours, have a break, something to eat and freshen up before we head on home.”

     He glanced again at her, to see what her reaction was to this suggestion.

     “There’s one in the next town, it’s just a few miles ahead,” he added, trying to comfort her.

     “Okay,” she said, managing a smile, “I’d like that, it’s creepy out here now, and it’d be good to have a nice snuggle for a while.”

     She smiled and clasped his strong youthful hand between both of hers.

     As the next town came into view along a straight stretch of highway, the tall neon light of the motel could be seen in the near distance off to the right-hand side.

     “There it is,” he said, “we’ll stop there.”

     No sooner had he finished his sentence, when the lights of the car suddenly picked up something on the roadway ahead. He slammed on the brakes instinctively to avoid hitting it. Their bodies lurched forward with the sudden breaking, their seatbelts cutting into them with the force of the immediate restraint. The car’s tyres failed at first to grip and screamed with exasperation as the rubber slid across the bitumen surface. Just as suddenly as the shrill screeching had commenced it ceased and the vehicle lurched to a standstill, just short of impact. 

     They both strained their eyes to see what was now illuminated in the headlights in front of the now stationary car, only to see that it was a large black cat standing its ground and staring back at them with glowering iridescent eyes. As the large cat stood staring defiantly at them, they could make out a litter of small kittens filing past behind it. Once the last of the small cats had crossed their path the large cat gave them one more cursory glare, and then followed, disappearing into the night as suddenly as it had appeared.

     “That was close,” he sighed breathing out for the first time since he had begun braking. “Did you see that?”

     Jasmine remained motionless and stared out of the windscreen, her eyes transfixed to the road ahead. Jason could see that her knuckles were white from the intense grip she had on the dashboard in front of her. 

     “Are you okay?” He reached for her extended arm and she relaxed her grip sliding back into her seat.

     “Yes…yes…I’m okay. I got a fright that’s all.”

     “Sorry,” he said apologetically, “I didn’t know what it was, I had to stop.”

     “It’s okay, you missed them,” she said, but he could still see the fear in her eyes, even though her composure was returning gradually.

     He moved the car off again and travelled about another fifty feet before turning into the driveway of the motel. The bright neon light of the motel sign now flooded the car with a warmth of familiarity and Jasmine managed a smile in Jason’s direction.

     “That’s better,” he acknowledged her faint smile “see we’re back in civilization and all is well.”

     The neon sign announced the ‘Downtown Motel’ and small flashing light in the corner indicated a vacancy.

     In the motel room, Jason dived onto the bed, while she went to the bathroom and freshened her face, adding some perfume to her neck.

     ‘Now I feel better,’ she thought, as she gazed into the mirror, but at the same time, she could not stop thinking about the cats.

     When she returned to the bedroom, her lover was already stripped of his clothes and under the sheets of the bed.

     “Come on in the waters fine,” he laughed.

`    She slipped off her skirt, standing before him in only a skimpy pair of pants, her young pert breasts pointing teasingly at him. She slipped off the undergarment and bounced into the bed next to him, brushing his naked thigh with the light curls of her pubic hair. They kissed gently as he stroked her nipples to erectness with his fingertips. She pulled her head back from his so that she was staring straight into his charismatically haunting green eyes.

     “I have something to tell you,” she whispered, looking at him adoringly, “I hope it will make you happy.”

     “What,” he asked, a smile coming to his lips? “Tell me your secrets, all of them; I want you to excite me.”

     “Stop it,” she giggled, “I’m serious.”

     “Okay, then tell me,” he said, making his face straight and pretending to behave.

        `She looked into his emerald green eyes, her hair and his mingled on the soft white skin of her heaving breast. She was always amazed by how much the green colours in his eyes shifted and changed, sometimes even as she watched.

     “I’m pregnant!” she said softly, a cautious smile crossing her face.

     “You’re pregnant,” he repeated, somewhat astonished but then a grin broadened on his face, “wow!”

      He kissed her softly with closed pursed lips then moved his left cheek next to her, whispering in her ear.

      “That’s fantastic.”

     He pulled back and kissed her again gently, then again more deeply and passionately.

     “I love you,” he whispered, again in her ear.

     Then they made love, before falling asleep in each other’s arms. 

     .

     “Mr Jason King, are you okay? Can you hear me?”

     The orange man looked into Jason’s face quizzically

     Jason looked back and realized that he must have been daydreaming.

     “The strangeness of this place must be getting to me,” he said under his breath.

     After all, he was on top of a mountain, in one of the most remote parts of the world, standing on an ancient staircase, talking to a strange little orange man, who has just appeared from behind a monolithic wooden structure, and who knew just who he was.

     “That is pretty strange, to say the least,” he mumbled.

     “Mr Jason, are you okay,” asked the little orange man?

     When Jason just nodded and smiled politely, picking up his day pack and throwing it over his shoulder, the little orange man just smiled and bowed politely.

     “Please follow me Mr Jason and I will take you to meet my Master, he is expecting you.”

     Having said that and without another word, or an opportunity for Jason to ask what he meant, the little bald man disappeared back inside the smaller wooden door. Jason shrugged his shoulders and followed.

     ‘I’ve come this far,’ he thought resignedly.

     Once inside the timbered gate, he caught the sight of a wisp of orange material disappearing around a curve in the stone staircase. Picking up his pace to catch up, Jason discovered that soon as the staircase turned, it entered a tunnel and disappeared into the sheer cliff face of the mountain. Jason promptly followed so as not to lose sight of his mysterious guide. The staircase in the tunnel was lit by flickering lanterns that protruded from the walls and he could see clearly the orange figure ascending briskly in front of him. The little orange man moved spritely and Jason although fit struggled to keep up.

     For what seemed like an eternity, they climbed stairs and Jason wondered how the little orange man could have come to open the bottom gate so fast unless he had been waiting there. Finally, he saw the monk stop and then open a gate, waiting for Jason to catch up.

     As Jason entered the gate, he looked up and saw the most amazing temple that seemed to somehow be carved from the rock of the mountain peak.

     “Welcome to ‘The Temple of Light’ Jason King,” said the monk to Jason, who just stared open-mouthed, “you are home.”

     Before Jason could ask him what he meant by ‘home’, the little man had taken off again and this time disappeared completely. Jason wandered corridors and hallways looking for him, actually, looking for anybody, but the whole temple seemed devoid of human life.

     Jason finally found a large room that looked to be a place of worship, lined with rows of tables and chairs that could easily seat a hundred people. He decided to sit and rest.

     ‘Maybe they will come to me’ he thought, as he collapsed onto a large wooden chair. Jason lay his head down on the table and fell fast asleep.

    

      Jason coughed and awoke to find he needed to gasp for air to breathe as he struggled to regain conscious thought.

     ‘Where am I,’ he wondered, as he fought to open his eyes?

     His lungs were burning with each breath and although his eyes were open, he could not focus on anything.

     ‘Am I blind?’

     He choked and spluttered and gradually his mind came to terms with what was happening.      

     ‘It was smoke,’ he realized in horror and reached out to feel around him but hit mid-air, causing him to off-balance and fall to the floor. His shoulder hit hard and pain tore through his body. Turning himself over, he covered his face and reached back for the edge of the mattress above him. With all his might, he pulled himself up to the level of the bed again. The whole room around him twisted and contorted in a raging torrent of flame and the air roared as if a thousand winds blew inside his head.

     His mind raced, ‘where was Jasmin?’

     As his eyes agonized for sight, he flung himself to the bed, but it also now rippled red hot with flame and a sudden searing pain shot him backwards off the bed and across the smoke-filled room. Again, he forced his now numb body to his knees and crawled back defiantly in her direction.

     ‘I must find her,’ his mind screamed in desperation.

     A burning piece of roof fell, almost hitting his arm, but doggedly he kept moving towards the edge of the bed. Once there, he reached up placing his hand on the top of the mattress and as if possessed by a superhuman strength, lifted himself in one single movement from the floor. His body launched across the burning bed towards where he thought she should be. With elation, he felt her arm and instantly pulled her from the bed. As they rolled to the floor, she fell on top of him, the burning sheets falling to the floor next to them.

     His eyes seared as he strained to find some hint of safety, when all of a sudden, he saw something emerge from the flames and slink across the floor. It was a large black cat and it moved confidently across the room in front of him, as if not affected at all by the inferno. He could hardly believe his eyes, but as it moved towards a wall on the far side of the room, he noticed that it entered into a shadow where there were no flames.

      His senses now numb to any feelings of pain and his mind desperate to accept any option of escape, he lifted the lifeless body of the girl into his arms effortlessly and followed the cat towards the one part of the room that did not burn. Driven by sheer determination, he plunged into the darkness before him, blindly carrying his precious cargo. Something crashed into him as he ran and he fell forward, his legs feeling a numb sort of pain, then nothing at all. He did not let go of her; he would never let go of her, he stood again and without fear, careered into the darkness. It was then that he heard voices and stumbling again, he fell to the ground, but now he noticed that some respite seemed to come to his burning lungs. He crawled as fast as he could manage, dragging her body under his, forward into the absolute blackness.

      “Help,” he screeched, not even sure if the sound had left his mind.

     A hand grabbed him from the unseen darkness and pulled them into cool air, where once again he could almost breathe. He pulled away from the dragging hand, as it seemed like it wanted to separate him from his love. He lowered her from his desperate grasp gently, on what now felt like the cool ground and with his numb, burnt hands, he felt for her face.

     ‘Can’t feel anything…is she okay…need to feel her breathing…tell me someone tell me is she breathing, I can’t feel anything…’

     A voice came to his ear, a friendly, sad voice.

     “Come on son, you need to be seen to.”

     “But what about her, is she okay,” Jason asked desperately?

     “Come on son, they’ll take care of her,” the soft, sad voice said.

     “No…no…I must take care of her first,” the young man pleaded.

     “It’s no good son, there is nothing you can do,” said the soft, sad voice, pulling him to his feet.

     He was unable to accept what he heard, but somehow he knew it was true. The pain was just too much. He turned and pushed past more people. He could see nothing but a blur and smell nothing but smoke. He ran, and he fell, and he sobbed, and the pain now returned, but it was not in his body, it was in his mind. His world imploded and he lost all consciousness. Jason King’s world had changed forever and would never be the same, ever again.


 

     Jason opened his eyes suddenly, his heart was pounding and all he could make out was the bright flickering light of a fire. He scrambled to his feet in horror, but as his eyes focused, he realized that the flames were in fact only candles that lined every wall of the great room he had fallen asleep in.

     ‘My God, how long have I slept,’ he thought, trying to shake off the memory of the dream?

     He suddenly noticed a sharp pain emanating from his side. He looked down and saw a tinge of blood on his shirt under his coat.

          ‘Must have been caused by the sudden movement’ he thought, as he closed the coat over it and started to walk slowly with a bit of a limp.

          As he walked, it dawned on him that now all the candles were lit and before they were not.         

          “I must have been asleep for a while,” he mumbled, as he looked at the myriad of candles that lined every wall, “enough time for them to light millions of candles without me even noticing. At least I know now, there has to be more than one person in this place.”

              He walked towards a large altar, also covered in burning candles of varying sizes and ages. He walked past the altar and into another large room that seemed to be lit from the roof. He was now at the rear of the altar. There was a large mural painted on the back of the wall behind the altar.     

     He stared at it in disbelief.